Humor
Published: 16/12/2007
Yesterday when I was driving along the freeway, a man in the car ahead of me threw a bag of fast-food trash out the passenger window. I gasped, then I raged, then I honked - not a little, hey-you honk. This was a long, in-your-face-from-behind-you honk.
What I got in return was a hand signal....
Published: 16/12/2007
Grocery shopping was hazardous to my health. There I was in the supermarket, struggling with an almost overflowing shopping cart that had just developed one of those go-only-one-way wheels, when a passer-by kiddingly said, "Boy, you eat a lot".
Suddenly I looked at my cart differently....
Published: 16/12/2007
Home is where the heart is. As newlyweds, our hearts' first home was a two-room apartment furnished in contemporary Salvation Army.
Like many newlyweds, John and I were poor in possessions, but rich in time together. We didn't have a vacuum cleaner - we didn't need one. I cleaned our one,...
Published: 16/12/2007
Frankly, I never thought I'd have this particular train of thought; but to avoid a long drive home in rush-hour traffic, my husband and I decided to travel by train to visit friends.
I heard there were first class cars. I'm not sure because John bought coach tickets. I wish he'd by Coach when...
Published: 16/12/2007
There's a difference between being stressed and being in a hurry. I'm a hurrier and I come from a long line of them.
My grandmother told a story about the Devil asking three of his associates how he could get more people to go to Hell. The first associate suggested telling them there's no...
Published: 16/12/2007
Remodeling, unfortunately, doesn't mean Christie Brinkley and Cindy Crawford are going to start modeling again. What it means is something which started out as a "wouldn't-it-be-nice-to" turns into a "when-will-it-ever-be-done".
First, if you can, move out. If that's not possible, join the...
Published: 16/12/2007
Okay. I admit it. I'm electronically challenged. I have trouble using an electric can opener, an electric pencil sharpener - even an electric toothbrush.
My husband, on the other hand - the hand holding a fistful of extension cords - loves electronic gadgets. It's a guy thing, which I'm sure...
Published: 16/12/2007
I admit it. I was the victim of marriage tests in women's magazines. When my marriage failed the "Marital Aptitude Test", I was concerned. When it failed "Are You and Your Mate Well Mated?", I started to worry. However, when it failed the "Monogamous Multiple Choice", I decided my marriage needed...
Published: 16/12/2007
My looks aren't mine. I could tell you I look like Jacquelyn Smith with blond hair or Diane Sawyer with short hair or Jamie Lee Curtis with better movie choices, but my looks depend on how others see me.
Technically, I look like the combination of my mother's egg and my father's sperm; but...
Published: 16/12/2007
PAT is my personal system for handling litter. No, not the stuff that's thoughtlessly strewn along streets and highways and is dropped in parks and on beaches. PAT, which stands for Put Away Things, is for the litter in my house. PAT is what keeps casual living from turning into chaos.
Dirty...
