Humor
Published: 15/12/2007
If I ever run for political office, I'll pass a law that requires spring cleaning to be postponed until winter. Why waste days of blooming flowers, invigorating air and sweater-wearing temperatures inside the house - especially inside a dirty house. After being elected by a landslide, I'll spend...
Published: 15/12/2007
Has spring sprung? According to my calendar, it began at 12:07am GMT - otherwise known as Greenwich Mean Time. I googled GMT and discovered it's seven hours ahead of PDT. Last year this wasn't a problem. We were in Palm Springs, which at its coldest is spring-like.
It's a two to two and a...
Published: 15/12/2007
If I had to choose between television and radio, I'd choose the latter - reality over reruns. However, music doesn't sooth my savage beast. It doesn't quiet my thoughts. I listen to talk shows because they occupy my mind by giving me something else to think about.
I enjoy having my thoughts...
Published: 15/12/2007
Would I like to be a man for a day? Sure. I'd like to walk a mile in my husband's Nikes. It would help me understand the male species. However...if I got lost while walking the mile, I'd ask directions.
Men are physically stronger, faster and have less body fat; but what I envy most is their...
Published: 15/12/2007
I decided the way to avoid feeling foolish on April Fool's Day was to be empowered by knowledge - no joke. Okay, I didn't spend hours researching the subject in the library; but I did google it.
Supposedly this day of duping family and friends started in France in 1564 - which explains why...
Published: 15/12/2007
The dictionary defines friend as "a person one knows well and is fond of". First, this is too vague a definition to describe a female friend.
Second, if I'm not meant to end a sentence with a preposition, I don't think Webster's Dictionary, the protector of our language, should end a...
Published: 15/12/2007
Every day's a gift my grandmother insisted. I agree. It's just that some are wrapped much more prettily than others.
It's not easy to think a day is a gift if you've lost your purse, gotten a speeding ticket or forgotten your anniversary. That's the kind of gift that isn't the right size, is...
Published: 15/12/2007
When I say uniforms, what do you think of - police, soldiers, school children? I wore a uniform in high school and was relieved not to have to compete in fashion, as well as academics. Of course, I claimed dry cleaning made my skirt shorter.
Some say having to dress the same prevents...
Published: 15/12/2007
Vegetating doesn't make you a vegetarian. I know. I've been a non-flesh eater for over twenty years. I'm not the Noah of nourishment, trying to save the animals. I can't digest animal protein, so it's my way to help my leather-wearing self feel better about what I eat.
Being a necessary life...
Published: 15/12/2007
If a weekend is Saturday and Sunday, why doesn't a calendar week begin with Monday and end with Sunday? Why do people say they can't wait for the weekend when they know they can and will?
Have you ever noticed people don't ask if you had a good Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, but ask if you...
