One of the biggest reasons women hand guys that are trying to hook up with them for their failure is that they don\'t have anything in common. If you think about it, that really probably isn\'t true. Maybe there isn\'t much in common, but everyone can find some common ground to start establishing a connection. A lot of really successful guys give out a sweet little piece of advice and tell the rest of their buddies that they just ask a woman about her interests and so forth and then they just listen.

This is a half truth. If you are just standing there listening and not participating, how long do you think the interaction is going to last? The key is getting in there and finding the common ground so that with every single potential connection you are laying groundwork for her to take it farther.

Asking her a few basic questions will open up a lot of information. Pay attention because every time she answers with something that is relevant to you, then you are presented with a conversation piece. If you bypass it, you are allowing her to believe you and she have nothing in common. Whether it\'s where you both went to high school or where you work or where you stand on your last relationship, you and she are bound to run into tidbits of information that can be developed.

Don\'t just give her a simple \"me too\" and move on. Get interested that you have something in common, let her know that you are sharing with her based on that interest or similarity and then give her a great story or thought about the situation. Let\'s say she\'s into the same music that you are, and you saw one of your favorite bands in concert last year. Tell her all about it and let her in on how disappointed you were because the seating sucked or how awesome it was that the drummer threw his drumstick and you caught it or whatever was really awesome or really not worth it about that experience. Then listen to her response. She\'ll give you more to work with if you\'re paying attention.

You can use this same idea with third party or removed similarities. Let\'s say she is into white water rafting but you\'re not. There is nothing wrong with telling her that your buddy has asked you to go several times but that you really didn\'t see what was so exciting about it. Maybe she can explain it better than he can because you have always been a little curious about it. Ask her what it\'s like and why she goes. Let her tell you all about it and let her change your mind about how you might respond the next time he asks you to go. Or you can find something that you have absolutely nothing connected with at all and get her talking about it.

When women say we have nothing in common, what they are really saying is that there wasn\'t any real connection between the two of you. You didn\'t catch what she threw and you weren\'t tossing much out there in return. This happens a lot when guys think all they have to do it listen to a woman talk. You have to be an active participant in the process. You have to be totally engaged in the learning and opening up process in order for her to be interested in you. The way you respond now to the things that she says tells her a lot about the way you\'ll respond later on.

When a guy responds with quiet and unreadable emotions, women tend to believe that they are getting the best foot forward from any guy who is trying to connect with her. So it you are giving her a pretty unattached and uninvolved reaction as your best foot forward imagine what she believes conversing with you will be like a year from now. It doesn\'t look good and she isn\'t going to feel connected or well received.